Sunday Short: Saying no to hatred

Today's Sunday short is brought to you from a Facebook post originally shared on the 10th January. 

Screen shot of a Twitter Post from user Casey Forbes (@caseyf) that reads: I deleted that Build the W*ll hat that was posted to @Ravelry. It goes in the bin along with the confederate flag patterns. I'm especially thankful for the latinx ravelers who toot the time to write me about it and I'm sorry that you had to look at that shit. The tweet is dated Jan 9 2018 from 1L35PM

This is how you do it if you are a website owner/manager/moderator or any organisation really.
You don't just have T&C that say no racist content. You stand by your policies. When somebody violates those policies, you don't look for a loophole, you don't look for an excuse, you don't play devils advocate.
You stand by your policies and principals and you take action.

In this case that means deleting a knitting pattern which supports a racist and xenophobic policy and person.

Remember this is nothing to do with free speech. This is a website owner who has said "I will not tolerate intolerance on this website". If that knitter wants to knit and wear their hat in their own time off of Ravelry, they can. But other people have every right to call them out on it. And a content manager has every right to say "you have broken our terms and conditions and we well not allow that.".

I haven't knit anything or even been on Ravelry in ages. But this is why they are awesome. Even if you don't do any sort of fibre art, there's a lot we can learn from Ravelry.

Caring is not a heroic task

I am having lots of thoughts and feelings about what happened yesterday that I need to get out. So long post warning. (CN: seizures, drug and alcohol use, homelessness and related issues)

What happened

I was walking along a pretty busy street (Boar Lane) in Leeds heading to get a bus. Just off the pain pavement I saw a guy start to have pretty severe convulsions. It was distinctly not somebody wobbling and stumbling as if drunk. He was still mostly upright at that point but was starting to sag. I went over to help him - he appeared to be unconscious and seizing. I got my arms around him to stop him falling but couldn't lower him to the ground by myself as a fully grown unconscious person is difficult to manoeuvre. I called for help and a man and woman came over to me. The man called for an ambulance and the woman helped me lower the patient to the ground. He was still seizing but we got him into the recovery position. Eventually the convulsions stopped but he remained unconscious. his pulse was weak and his breathing irregular to start with though it did steady eventually.

We stayed like that for 45 minutes waiting for an ambulance monitoring his heart rate and breathing.

During that time three people stopped to see if wee needed help, two security guards asked if we needed him moving, a pair of Leeds BID asked us what he'd taken and and, group of kids stood and watched and told us we were idiots for helping him.

Also a group of homeless guys came over to see what was happening, managed to give us his name, informed us that he suffers from seizures but he'd been using spice so he was just sleeping and then left.

After 45 minutes the guy woke up confused and a little belligerent. I managed to talk to him for a few minutes but we couldn't keep him there and he left. He told us he had been smoking spice not long before it happened. He left to go and smoke more.

The aftermath

So last night and today I felt like crap. Part of me is so angry at all the people who walk past and stare and do nothing. I guess when it's fairly obvious that first aid is happening and somebody is on a phone you don't need to stop because it's under control. But at the point where i was one small person with a walking stick trying to hold on to a fully grown convulsing man how many just ignored it. The people who did help were lovely. They weren't local and were having a short break in Leeds this was their first day.

What's worse though are those who said we shouldn't help. The people who are happy to ignore somebody in distress because they look homeless. From the distance I was at when he started convulsing I could see no indication he was homeless or a euphemistically named "street drinker". I wasn't even sure when I literally had my arms around him with him leaning his full weight on me. I wasn't sure when he was on the ground (though I had a fair idea at that point) and saw the dirt and the purple ears and the abrasions and other signs of spending your days and nights on a street. I was only sure when the other local homeless people came and told us.

But even then why does his status as homeless or a drug user make him less worthy of help?

Several people said "oh it's just spice." or some variant on that. But it doesn't matter. he had a seizure. Maybe if he was just asleep it wouldn't matter, it would be "just spice" but he had a seizure. That's not normal. That's not good. OK using spice isn't exactly good for you and but neither is sleeping rough. But that doesn't make having a seizure any less of a medical red flag or to be taken any less seriously.

I was particularly angry at the Leeds BID (Business Improvement District) reps who walked up and the first thing they said was "what has he taken?". No concern for his welfare. No concern for our welfare. Just an assumption and a judgement that he had taken sometihng. At that point we didn't know anyway. When we responded with "maybe nothing, he had a seizure" they just walked away.

Since they first appeared I have had a strong distrust of Leeds BID and their bowler hatted reps. Their purpose is to make Leeds attractive to investors and business. Their methodology is to remove anything on the street that isn't aesthetically pleasing or is in someway distasteful or a nuisance. They make me think (not helped by their uniforms) of some sort of Nazi era brigade charged with ridding our city of the unclean and unwanted, those who are a stain on their plans of creating a capitalist utopia. I don't believe they have any real power to move or harass homeless people but they do. I have a horrible nagging suspicion that they would deploy the same tactics on disabled people if they could especially those who use chairs and scooters and don't look "inspiring" enough.

Image shows three people wearing matching Leeds BID uniforms of white shirt, black skirt or trousers, black waistcoat, yellow tie and a black bowler hat with a yellow band. The are stood in a street and are smiling.

Certainly this interaction didn't do anything to improve my opinion of them. It just made me sad and angry.

Thankfully the couple helping me seemed to share by views and put up with my emotional socialist rambles.

The other group that had a big impact on me were the kids. This was toward the end of our tenure as carers. A group of kids maybe aged around 12 years old? (I find it really hard to age kids, especially boy presenting kids who are over the age of about 8 and under 14). They stopped and leaned on the railing and watched and jeered. They couldn't understand why we were helping him. They kept saying "he's just asleep. It's just spice". First of all why were they so familiar with spice. That was so terribly sad. I don't want to pretend that at that age I was unfamiliar with drugs or their specific names but I don't think I would have been so blase about it when seeing somebody unconscious in the street. What was even worse is they were right. He had taken spice. How are these kids so familiar with it that they can tell when somebody has used it and just not care.

How are these kids so uncaring that a man passed out in the street that it doesn't bother them? Is it uncaring? Is it a lack of compassion or is it just that for whatever reason they have learned that this is nothing to be concerned about. I know it is highly unlikely that all or even any of those kids were genuine psychopaths, rather that these were learned experiences from listening to and watching adults or even worse based on their exposure and familiarisation with this sort of event. While their reactions were aggravating and unhelpful at the time, really it was overwhelmingly sad. It was heartbreaking to think that these kids were growing up learning not to care. That they were growing up intimately familiar with dangerous drug use. That they were growing up thinking it's ok to abandon somebody in need because they may be a drug user. I just don't know what to do about that. I can only hope that seeing three people taking time out of their day to care may sink in. I can only hope that the explanations we gave - that it doesn't matter the reason, that we didn't want him to hit his head, that seizures aren't a normal reaction and should be taken seriously - were enough to convince them that maybe it is worth caring even if it's "just spice".

For some reason the fact that those kids witnessed the guy waking up, had it confirmed that he had been using spice and saw him walk away just made it all the more bitter. I fear that all their bias was confirmed. It was just spice. He was "just sleeping". We were just silly people who cared too much.

I keep coming back to that. Even the ambulance service, who I know are stretched thin, didn't think a person who had been unresponsive for 45 minutes following a seizure was worth responding too. Possibly just the location - an area with a lot of street drinkers and drug users during the day - was enough to make them lower the severity of the call. Maybe I am naive to stop and help. Maybe I should have walked away. Maybe it was "just spice" and he was "just asleep" and it wasn't worth my effort.

Because afterwards I was physically exhausted. Adrenaline hurts my body. I mean really hurts. Afterwards I was shaking and exhausted and in pain. I had a panic attack and was looked after by a nice barista who saw me shaking and saw my Stickman Communication cards. I could hardly stand up. I could hardly talk. But there's the person we just spent 45 minutes crouched over monitoring his breathing, keeping his airway clear staggering away and rolling another joint so it can all happen again.

photograph shows two stacks of laminated cards on a table next to a glass of water and a hot chocolate. The cards are brightly coloured with text and stickman drawings on 

I know the maxim "put your own oxygen mask on first" meaning see to your own welfare before that of others - because if you aren't OK you can't look after others. Maybe that's all that the people who walked past and said nothing were doing - putting on their own oxygen mask. Don't have the skills or temperament or physical or mental capacity to help, don't get involved. I can't judge that. I really can't because sometimes you do have to consider your own well being and I can't begrudge somebody who doesn't have the skills to get involved in something they may not understand. So why do I. Why don't I put my own needs first. Am I really that stupid and naive to think that it is worth it? It's not the first time.

What the hell is this world we are living in that I am left to feel ashamed and stupid for caring about somebody? Why is it that the first and accepted response is "what has he taken?" and then to move on?

So here I am the day after what turned out not to be a medical emergency but may actually have been a medical emergency tired and sore and broken and vacillating from sadness to anger to self doubt.

I don't want to be told I am a hero or that I am a good person. It shouldn't stand out. It should just be what people do. But it isn't and I don't understand that.

I am so incredibly lucky that the people who stopped to help were of the same mind and that same willingness to help regardless of if it was "just spice."



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When basic needs become a luxury

This is prompted by a post on tumblr that read:

fucked up how cooking and baking from scratch is viewed as a luxury…..like baking a loaf of bread or whatever is seen as something that only people with money/time can do. I’m not sure why capitalism decided to sell us the idea that we can’t make our own damn food bc it’s a special expensive thing that’s exclusive to wealthy retirees but it’s stupid as hell and it makes me angry [user: @grossrabbit] 

The comments that followed were largely in agreement and it became a post of sharing people's "easy" and "quick" bread recipes with comments about how they couldn't believe that anybody would still buy bread. There was a smug implication that those who make their own bread were smarter for having figured this out and for "beating the system" whilst those who did not cook from scratch were somehow foolish, easily duped, lazy or just not trying hard enough. Because obviously, when it was so easy to make bread from scratch with one of these simple recipes why isn't everybody doing it. 

Before I continue I should point out that I absolutely love cooking. I like cooking from scratch, using fresh and basic ingredients. I even like baking, especially breads. Additionally, by and large I do think that cooking is easier than a lot of people believe and do try and encourage people to give it a go. However, we shouldn't be scratching our heads that it is "viewed as a luxury". That's not the problem. The problem is that for a lot of people in the UK and the US this type of cooking is a luxury and one they don't have access to. The question we need to be asking is "how has something as simple as cooking from base ingredients become a luxury in our society?"

Those of you familiar with my blog and political beliefs may have an inkling as to what I believe is the answer to this question. But before I get into the specifics I want to try and explain to you why the act of cooking from scratch and baking your own bread is a luxury for a vast number of people in our culture. Please keep in mind that I am in the UK and my experiences are based on life in the UK but I have tried to be conscientious of challenges that people may face elsewhere, especially in the US. 

The actual obstacles

Cooking and baking from scratch requires - access to fresh ingredients; time; space.

If you are working long shifts, multiple jobs, studying and working, working and doing child care, working and a carer for an adult you simply don’t have time to bake and cook from scratch regularly. Or you might but you would have no time for anything else like sitting and resting, or enjoying a hobby or activity. If it is something you only get the time to do occasionally then it becomes a luxury.

If you have a disability you may not be physically able to cook from scratch regularly - this is often wrapped up in “time” because it relates to having the time to cook when you are physically capable of doing so. Chronic health conditions or disabilities that limit your ability to do an activity essentially act as a time suck that take time away from you being able to do something. The time and ability to cook becomes a luxury.

Access to fresh or basic ingredients is a difficult one. This is often a balance of time and money. Ingredients that you have easy access to from your local grocery store may be limited. Some base ingredients can be affordable, but others may not be. The alternative is going to stores further away or multiple stores to pick up the ingredients you need. This takes time to do, (there is also the added fuel or public transport costs). This issue can be compounded by health limitations that mean travelling further to go to the shop that sells the thing or going to the big busy market is simply not possible. For people who are limited by resources, budget, time or location, access to suitable ingredients is a luxury.

Then there is access to the things you need to cook. You may be able to find some items cheaply in charity shops but it’s a bit hit and miss and you need the time to be able to wait around for those items to appear or to visit a number of shops to see if they have them in. Or you need to be able to buy brand new. Again it’s a balance of time and money to make everything from pans to spatulas to mixing bowls available (and I’m not even considering electrical items or actual stoves here). Access to that equipment can be a luxury.

Poorer people who live in small homes may have tiny kitchens which they struggle to actually cook in. They may not have space to store a full set of pans or other items, they may not have a stove or working oven. They may only have a tiny fridge and no freezer if at all. Additionally if you are in a house share situation or even if you have a family in a small home you can’t take up a lot of time and space using kitchen facilities because other people need that space too. Having regular, adequate space and facilities to cook from scratch is a luxury.

The real issues

Yes, there are people who manage to cook great things from scratch on a tiny budget or in small kitchens and so on but usually these are people who have other privileges i.e. the person on a tiny budget may work from home and have the flexible time to put the effort in. Additionally these people usually enjoy the process so are getting downtime or R&R from it as well as actual food - there is added value tot he process). I have a friend who has a tiny kitchen but loves cooking and freelances as a caterer - it is amazing how much she has fit into a tiny space and how she has learned to use it, but for her it's not just about getting a basic plate of food on the plate in front of her. There is added value and intensive (her enjoyment and proficiency as a cook) in figuring out how to make the tiny space work.  

When there is an additional benefit to the effort needed i.e. it’s not just about sustenance it’s also about quality time spent, that is motivating factor. We can’t chastise people who don’t get that pleasure and for whom cooking is a chore if they want to spend less time doing and maybe more time doing something they like like reading a book, watching TV or just snoozing.

We certainly shouldn’t chastise people who are already extremely limited on time to not want to spend all their free time, space or money on cooking.

The reality is that in a lot of modern hyper capitalist societies like the USA and the UK, cooking from scratch is a luxury for a lot of people.

It shouldn’t be, but it is.

Chastising people and trying to jolly them along with “helpful” advice about this great bread recipe you have doesn’t help. It doesn’t actually solve any of the factors that is making it a luxury.

All it ends up doing is shaming people who are not able to cook from scratch due to their circumstances. It can also have the effect of trying to make people feel guilty for not trying enough. It essentially says “if you wanted to you could do this. If you wanted to you could spend literally all your “free” time, money and effort cooking, but you don’t want to. You just aren’t trying hard enough.” and let me tell you that is toxic. That is the sort of toxic rhetoric that is spouted at poor and disabled folk all the time.

It’s similar to the people who look at people like Jack Monroe of Cooking on a Bootstrap fame and say “why are the poor people complaining, if they just tried hard enough they could eat fine. If they wanted to they’d have plenty of money for food.”. While completely missing the message that cook books on “how to stretch £5 to feed two people for a week” shouldn’t even have to exist. Jack produced their initial blog posts and recipes out of sheer desperation.

In our society cooking from scratch is for a lot of people a luxury.

The issue is not people being stupid, or not trying enough.

The answer is not to be smug about your bread or to make blog articles about “5 hacks to making soup”. 

It is not viewed as a luxury. It is a luxury: and that's wrong

The answer is to challenge a society and social structure that has made the very basics of living - preparing food to eat - into a luxury activity. We should be asking why people have to work so many hours each day that putting a ready meal in the microwave is preferable (or the only option) instead of cooking. We should be asking why market forces have made it so that some basic ingredients cost more than pre-prepared ingredients, why these aren’t widely available and why companies are allowed to charge premium prices for limited stock. 

Rather than smugly talking about your sourdough starter and overnight loaf, we whould be campaigning for a Universal Basic Income.

We should be looking at why housing is an ongoing issue, why people are forced into tiny houses, house shares (not happy communes) and sub par housing that doesn’t have proper cooking facilities. We should be asking why private rents have sky rocketed while social housing has been more than decimated and why there are tax breaks to housing developers that push up the cost of buying or renting but not to those who wish to renovate existing housing stock to make it suitable accommodation.

Rather than rapping people on the knuckles for buying a jar of pasta sauce instead of fresh tomatoes, we should be petitioning MPs for tighter control of the rental market and better rights for tenants.

We should be asking we social care and support for disabled people and their carers is so poor that many disabled people end up with malnourishment because they simply can’t afford food, the facilities to cook it or have the support they need in order to feed themselves.

This is not a case of “ho ho, if only those plebs knew how to make this simple loaf!”. This is a case of “why the hell do we continue to support an economic system that makes cooking from scratch a luxury?”

In case it wasn't clear, it's capitalism. Capitalism is the reason cooking from scratch is a luxury.



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