Wednesday, 16 August 2017

On vulnerability

NB: this post was first written several weeks ago but not published due to tech issues. It remains relevant though some of the specific things referenced may have moved on.

This is a difficult topic to write on but I think it’s time I took a stab at it.
This is more personal than many of my posts, but it’s important.

What or who do you think about when you hear the phrase “vulnerable adult”? An elderly person, frail and memory failing? Somebody with severe learning disabilities, or a developmental disorder that leaves them cognitively impaired? Well yes, those assessments aren’t wrong. But that’s not the whole picture either. Because, it turns out, you can be a 32 yr old with a high level of education, who has been able to hold down a good full time job and you can be or can become a vulnerable adult.

Over the past couple of months we have been moving house and carrying out some minor renovation on the new house. This has meant that for the most part I have been sat in the house by myself letting in and dealing with a succession of builders and contractors, energy salesmen and council representatives. Plastering, roof, flooring, internet, energy, water ... The list is endless.

Moving house is of course exhausting for anybody. It’s a big job and it’s stressful. When, like me, you have a chronic illness it becomes a ridiculous feat. I have been in a state of exhaustion or weeks, struggling to stay awake, in screaming agony on some days, vertiginous and migrainous, woozy and with a brain fog which deserves its own slot in the shipping forecast. It’s a slog to get anything done as every little bit of exertion needs to be quickly balanced out with rest. Needless to say, this isn’t the best state to be dealing with strange people and negotiating business.

Crashed out on the sofa with fatigue and pain

It took me a couple of weeks of rising anxiety to realise that it was because, for all intents and purposes even if it was not an official diagnosis, I was in the position of a vulnerable adult. My anxiety was the fear that I was in a position of powerlessness, that I could be taken advantage of (financially if nothing else) and wouldn’t have the wits or wherewithal to do anything about it. I have had to open my door to strangers, invite them in to my house and hand over money and trust that I will be safe and that they will be honest and kind. That’s a tremendous ask. We would like to think we live in a world where this trust is inevitable but instead we live in a world in which we know that scams happen. We know that people are ripped off. We know that some contractors can swindle and cheat. We know that inviting a strange man in to your home is a risk. These are calculated risks that any adult takes.

But as an adult who is struggling with cognition, who is struggling to have an alert and bright mind, an adult who is fighting to speak through a migraine and a head like cotton wool, an adult who has used up a huge amount of their energy just to answer the door to you, it’s a very different calculation. The risks are higher.

I have come away from several interactions now not being entirely sure what was said, if the pay was accurate or was the work really completed as requested. Because I didn’t know, I couldn’t remember, I couldn’t make clear judgement. I just had to plod along and follow the script, say “yes thank you” fumble for the money and hand it over and trust that all was well. It’s a risk.
I may not look like a vulnerable adult on the outside. There is no tell-tale ramp and hand rail on the house, I don’t have a “classic” look to my face but it doesn’t mean that I am not in a vulnerable position.

At the same time that this has been going on I have been considering the worth of buying a wheelchair or a scooter. Friends I have in a similar position health wise are opting for motorised wheelchairs. Aside from the usual stress and mental gymnastics involved in considering if I am disabled “enough” for a scooter or chair or if I am faking or being dramatic, there are concerns about vulnerability. Even though I almost always use a walking stick these days there is a definite step up in how visible disabled you are when you start using a chair or scooter. The internationally regarded symbol for disability is a person in a wheelchair. Our society still regards people in a wheelchair and disabled people as more vulnerable, regardless of their actual capability. And if you are seen as more vulnerable you are often treated as such, both good and bad (and really the good isn’t all that good).

For some reason, I am struggling most with the concept of using an electric chair. I have friends who use them and I don’t consider them to be more vulnerable or to be weaker. Yet when I try and picture myself using one I experience a sense of rising panic. The thought of me in a motorised chair just doesn’t fit. I imagine it and instantly see an increased vulnerability and an increased lack of agency that is more than I can cope with. In part it is a perceived passivity: you sit in the chair and the chair moves. In reality it is no more passive than a scooter: you are in control of the speed and movement, you are a not the passenger but are actively in control. But I can’t shake this feeling than in a chair I will be vulnerable.

What can be done about this then? Is there a solution to the issue of vulnerability. Clearly there is some need for us to assign he label of vulnerable adult to some people. There are those who need extra protection and help that can’t be denied. But we also need to consider that vulnerability is not an absolute state. It can develop in a person or can vary day by day. Vulnerability is also something that very much varies by perception. In some cases it is self perception: I would feel more vulnerable in a motorised wheelchair than in a scooter; I feel vulnerable when I am fatigued and dealing with contractors. When this is so then the individual can work on altering their own perceptions, breaking down the exact why and what of that vulnerability with the ultimate goal of feeling less vulnerable.

The issue is of course that that doesn’t change other people’s perceptions nor does it change and physical attributes. I may train myself to feel less vulnerable but I will still have that fatigue and difficulty concentrating that puts me in a vulnerable position. Additionally other people’s perceptions, whether formed of good intentions or with the intention to harm are difficult if not impossible to change. When you appear as visibly disabled, there is a likelihood that various people will automatically perceive you as vulnerable regardless of any other evidence to the contrary. This of course can inform their actions and how they treat you, in some cases increasing the risk or vulnerability in the process.

Still though, the issue of actually having traits and difficulties which render me vulnerable exist. Is the problem then simply that I am vulnerable I am correctly perceived as vulnerable by our culture and simply can not and do not want to admit to this level of vulnerability. I do not want to be a vulnerable adult. I do not want to be somebody in need of cosseting, care, talking down to and gentle explanation. And yet, I do not want to be hurt, swindled, taken advantage of or otherwise mistreated as a result of my difficulties. I do need help. I do need reassurance. I do at times need people to talk me through complex decisions, forms and calculation. I do need to sit down and rest and I do need help with mobility.


It comes down to trying to express to people that vulnerability leads to a need for help but that help does not need to come at the cost of a person’s dignity.


I hired a scooter for Nine Worlds. Using it on public transport was an experience.

Monday, 14 August 2017

Limitless clothing choices and you pick that

This post is largely triggered by the film Valerian, which at the time of writing is still in cinemas and I had seen earlier in the week. It is not limited to Valerian though, or a full critique or review of the film[1], it is merely using it as a recent example of a common problem in SciFi.

Clothing. What your characters are wearing. You may think it’s trivial but really it’s not, especially in film and television where the visual image you create should be telling us as much about the story and setting as dialogue and and action sequences. Throughout history our clothing has told a story about how our culture functions, what is important to us, how we work, the economy, the tastes and ethos and of course the morals. To take a non-scifi example think about a period drama set in the early 1920s. Whilst most of the characters are still fairly conservatively dressed a female character that shows up wearing a knee length skirt will stand out. The skirt tells us as much about her character as do her actions and the reactions of supporting cast. Think also how in this period drama, we can instantly tell the difference between a servant, a working class character and an upper class character merely by how they are dressed: the cut and shape of the clothes, the fashions they pick, the fabrics and colours are all visual cues that tell us about the characters and the setting.

So how does that relate to scifi in general and to Valerian in particular? Well there were two areas that it stood out to me and we can tackle them individually. Firstly, gendered uniforms and armour and secondly, how you dress your aliens.

In the future our uniforms are old fashioned

In Valerian, there was a clear difference between the uniforms of male coded and female coded military/police/security personnel: trousers and smart jackets for the men and skirts and tailored jackets for the women. Short skirts at that. Very short. Now one of the nice things about the uniforms was how they varied them for rank, but due to the quite frankly ridiculous lack of female background characters there was no opportunity to compare like with like.

Screencap from Valerian City and of a Thousand Planets. The representation of female personnel is so rubbish this is the only still I could find that showed the uniforms

There are two arguments I anticipate here: that this is a film adapted from a comic and draws its design from the original art; that real female soldiers wear skirts so it’s not an issue. I’ll tackle them separately.

The first argument that it is staying faithful to the comic art can and should be dismissed easily. While the film does take a lot of influence and direction from the comic there are many, many things it has changed and redesigned. This is by no means a faithful and painstaking reproduction of the comic in film. The uniforms are almost entirely created from scratch for the film, as the comic’s chaotic style and strong colour washes mean that they rarely appear clearly or consistently in order to be reproduced. With that amount of creative freedom the only reason to create a starkly gendered uniform is the whims and desires of the creative directors.

The second argument, that real world female soldiers wear skirts is also, I would hope you can agree, just as easy to dismiss. Real world dress uniforms in many armed forces including the UK, the USA and France (the comic was originally French) are indeed often gendered with female personnel being required to wear skirts with their tunics. These skirts or generally knee length or there about. There are also specifically the dress uniforms, those worn on parade and for formal occasions. They are not their everyday uniform even when they are operational on[2] base or in “office jobs”. Even if there was some reason that a scifi film should be copying contemporary real world uniforms, this gender division would be incorrect. But it is a scifi film, a world that yes is a theory of future human civilisation, but it is not actually trying to represent the here and now of western earth life. 
The design of uniforms for men and women has changed considerably throughout the 20th and in to the 21st century, largely removing gender differences and better reflecting the status and roles of women in the military. In Valarian then, the creators have decided that the natural development and progress is that female presenting human cadets and officers should wear mini-skirts. They have an entire fictional universe to play with, they can choose literally anything and they chose miniskirts. The most stereotypically gendered uniform item available. Perhaps it was a deliberate choice to hark back to the comic’s 1960s origins, but if that was the case then they missed the mark entirely by deciding to go with something that is such a tired trope instead of reflecting the exciting visionary appeal of the early comics.

Valerian is definitely not the sole perpetrator of the “traditionally gendered uniforms in scifi” trope, but they are the most recent. There is just no fathomable reason why a future society would choose an archaic dress form for their uniforms that isn’t a decision based in real world sexism and lack of vision.

Now on to the second recurring problem:

Your aliens are dressed according to Western Earth morals

This is an issue that rises again and again in multiple scifi films and television shows. The carefully crafted humanoid alien race is encountered for the first time. They are new and strange their ways different to ours, their understanding of the world and how we live novel and ripe for study. Their men wear trousers and shirts and their women wear dresses. Or for variation, their men wear loin cloths and go bare chested while the women wear complicated bikini like garments that hide their surprisingly human like breasts and nipples.

Still from Valerian: City of a Thousand Planets. Alien landscape, very human modesty
Now I know there is a frustratingly mundane reason for this – we have some ridiculously strict regulations about exactly how much flesh, especially female flesh certain cinema ratings allow. If you want your film to have a 12 Certificate in the UK (suitable for persons aged 12 and over), essential if you want that big summer hit while all the kids are off school, then you need to abide by the regulations and keep female nipples and anything deemed titillating to a minimum and that means bikini tops at the very least. It’s frustrating but it is something that film makers have to keep in mind. It’s barely an excuse though and definitely not for those that are content with a higher certificate or for adult audiences on TV.

And why is it such a flimsy excuse? Because there are so many ways you can deal with that issue without resorting to familiar Western Human Civilisation standards and methods of dress. We can’t deny that fashion in most of the human world, especially those “western” societies is shaped by morals (often religiously derived), norms and prejudice. We have, over centuries decided that women’s breasts should always be covered (though not so that we can’t tell that there are breasts at all), that women do not wear trousers and if they do they must look suitably feminine and that men definitely don’t wear skirts except perhaps for certain “traditional dress” occasions. Of course there is far more to it than that, but they are the very basic rules that we can observe and see in the world around us. Crucially they have come out of our human early culture. It is of course possible that other cultures will develop in that way, but there is no reason for it. If you are truly wanting to create a new, mysterious, intriguing alien culture that is so different to ours, why would you then decide to dress them in a way that adheres to our cultural norms and morals.

In the issue of men having bare chests and women covering their breasts, let’s consider some solutions. Firstly, does your humanoid alien actually have to have breasts which are so human and sexually dimorphic as to risk the wrath of censors. Make them a different shape. Make them all flat chested. Reposition them. Do away with a gender and sex binary in your alien characters and randomise features. Don’t sexualise them with the same features as human breasts.
If for some reason you must have female human shaped breasts on your aliens then do they have to be dressed in the same way as human females? Fine, you have to bend to the will of the certification authority and cover any pesky female flesh but there are other garments available than just bikini tops. Have all your aliens regardless of gender wear the top. Have them wear tunics. Have them loose and draped. Have them incidental, garments that just happen to cover the breast and are as likely found on a male character as on a female or any other gender. Wrap all your aliens in bands of cloth from chest to hips.

Again, in the whole galaxy of human imagination and options available to us in scifi, even if we adhere to the concept of scifi as metaphors for human social issues we should be able to conceptualise our aliens as, well, alien. In an era of advanced CGI, animation and costuming to see Valerian create beautiful and enigmatic aliens[3] with wondrous skin and empathic reactivity and then dress them in fanciful reproductions of bikinis and loin clothes was just sad. It’s an inability to break the bonds with human morals and ideals even when at liberty to be as free and creative as you please. I know that there are a whole host of constraints on a costume designer: what the producer want, what the director wants, what will sell, what the animator likes to draw. My argument isn’t specifically directed at the costume designer but at productions teams as a whole that have an opportunity to create aliens and instead create humans with blue skin.

Aliens don’t need to care if 21st century humans find female breasts too risqué to be seen they don’t even need to know what a human breast looks like. They can be humanoid and have very different genitals and very different attitudes to if they are left covered or not. They can create their wardrobes, fashions and conventions based on their culture, on their society and their world. There is no need to imagine something free, new and exciting and then to bind it in human standards.

When it comes to Valerian, as noted, there were other issues with the film, and indeed other issues with the costume and wardrobe choices. We could talk more about why erotic fashions 500 years in the future are still centred on pseudo-Victorian corsets and 20thCentury show girls or speculate that some people in The City of a Thousand Planets simply have an antique clothing kink and quietly and politely decline from judging. But that won’t stop me raising more than an eyebrow at the dismal and tired state of scifi costuming.




[1] A full critique of the film is deserving though, as it is a film with so much potential and so many problems.
[2] You notice I don't even mention the body armour here. I don't want this post getting too long and that's a topic better covered by BikiniArmourBattleDamage on tumblr.
[3] There were additional problems with the aliens, beautiful as they were, regarding racial coding and the trope of “the noble savage” that I do not feel suitably qualified to talk about

Thursday, 10 August 2017

Nine Worlds Part two

Part two of my mega write up of my Nine Worlds 2017 experience. Part one can be found here.

Saturday, Sunday, The RPG and The Panel

Saturday began with a leisurely breakfast and then settling in to "Representations of the City in SFF". This made my inner architect nerd sing. While at times I felt they strayed a little too far into architectural debate and theory and could have related it to SFF a little tighter, it was still a fascinating discussion about how cities are built and the impact city and building design can have on the tone and feeling of a book. The authors on the panel, Verity Holloway and Al Robertson, gave some great insight in to how the small details of city design are incorporated in to their writing – the city design informing character actions and the character actions describing city design – whilst editor and marketing bod Jared Shurin introduced interesting elements of how things like advertising and corporate ownership may fit in and change a city dweller’s (or reader’s) experience.

The panellists: (l-r) Amy Butt, Al Robertson, Verity Holloway and Jared Shurin

The RPG session

Then it was time to run Days of Future Craft, our beast of an RPG one-shot:
Twelve players, three characters, three time periods, three GMs, four NPCs, plus robots, crochet, poison and for some reason, Romans. 

First off, let me explain how this came to be. The person running workshops and craft related things had an idea for some sort of craft related RPG but she wasn’t able to write and run it. Somehow Nathan and me ended up taking this on board and quickly roped in Carlos. We weren’t sure quite how we ended up running a 12 person, three hour, one off, craft related game with three GMs but there we were. We fit in as many Skype plot writing meetings as we could in the weeks leading up to Nine Worlds and hoped that the rough notes accumulated actually added up to something playable. What we had come up with was an ambitious game of time travel and crafting gone wrong, in which three groups of players would take on the same group of characters split in to their past present and future selves and try and stop the end of the world. The big bad was known as The Crafter and we were pretty sure that crochet had something to do with it. Oh and there were robots.

I was nervous going in to it and also aware that this was taking up a big chunk of my con. If it didn’t work not only would I worry about letting down our players, I felt I would have given up a chunk of my time for something rubbish. It’s pretty safe to say that this game was giving me a little anxiety. However, as the players turned up and got on with the bizarre task of creating their past present and future selves it started to look like it might work. I was heading up The Past and though things were a little slow to start off, we soon picked up the pace with poison and the unexpected appearance or four Roman Soldier NPCs thanks of course, to player action. It was good. 
As expected we ran over time, rushing to fit the final mega encounter when past, present and future came together for one last showdown. Ideally we would have had more time to finish off properly, as it was the final encounter didn’t feel quite right, but we had to end somewhere. Nevertheless the players seemed satisfied and pleased with the outcome and, I think, had fun wielding their craft skills against The Crafter.


It was with relief then that I walked away from the RPG and to a well deserved sit down and cup of tea, relaxing and raiding the trader’s stalls for books and lovely art (a book haul post may come later, but suffice to say, I love the book buying opportunities of Nine Worlds).  I could have sworn I went to another panel that evening but I can’t for the life of me remember what. I think my head was still scrambled from too many timelines and dinner.

AMereKat opening the cabaret accomanied by Creature. pic credit: Zooterkin

Whatever happened in that fuzzy period, we made it back in time for the BiFrost caberet. The BiFrost Caberet is a strange beast. It really is a cabaret: numerous individual acts performing in short bursts and everything from comedy filk (from the likes of the lovely A Merekat), to poetry, balloon based magic and superb songs about feminism (from Alice Nicholls). It fell flat once or twice – though the poetry was excellent and by no means should a cabaret be entirely comic, poetry is a difficult one to fit in, in terms of tone and mood. Sadly the final act was a let-down with little substance and leaving most people uncomfortable and confused – a bizarre combination of drag act and a Butlins-esque insistence on people joining in. I know that getting acts for the cabaret is difficult and there is a need for diversity and variety, but the selection process could do with being a little more vigorous.

Sadly, even with my now much loved scooter, I was just too tired to stay for the BiFrost Disco even though I knew the music would be good and the dancefloor welcoming. That sort of socialising just took more mental energy than I had for the evening and so it was off to bed for a well needed sleep.

Sunday

Sunday started with grand plans of attending Nick Bradbeer’s talk on spaceship design, and I was looking forward to his enthusiasm and specialist knowledge in the field of naval engineering. Unfortunately for us, and good for him, it seemed everybody else had the same idea and we were just too late to get a space. Instead I nipped off to BookTubing to learn more about this mysterious niche of YouTube while my partner decided what he needed was some inflatable shark Olympics. (I think that paragraph sums up the content spectrum of Nine Worlds pretty well).

I really wasn’t sure what to expect from the BookTubing panel – it wasn’t something I had heard of and I wasn’t sure what shape the discussion would take. It turned out to be interesting and a lovely, lively and friendly talk. BookTube it turns out is a niche corner of YouTube in which people review books and produce literary vlogs. I would have liked a bit more discussion about how YouTube fits in to the changing world of reviews and media as people move away from the traditional press, but it remained, but the technical talk about how it all worked, who produced and who watched still filled the hour well. At the very least I’ve come out of it with several new YouTube channels to follow and a reassurance that being a slow reader is legitimate and audiobooks are absolutely as valid as printed texts.

Split Worlds cosplay 

After that session I changed in to my only real cosplay of the con, my Irene Peonia Retincula gown from the Split World’s novels by Emma Newman. It’s a lovely gown and one I have not much reason to wear. It’s the sort of gown that looks elegant even on a scooter, and definitely when stood up, swooshing the long train behind me. Nine Worlds has a lovely system for rewarding cosplay. Unlike other cons which may have a parade or contest for cosplayers, which can cause stress and anxiety and disproportionaly awards those with more money or professional costume makers, Nine Worlds issues every attendee with five tokens. People can wear cosplay throughout the weekend and other attendees can hand over a token as a show of appreciation. What this means is that the stunning and pro-made costumes get rewarded alongside those that are thrown together out of a wardrobe but perfectly recreate or capture the spirit of a character. You can reward people for those rare and obscure characters that only you and the wearer seem to know as well as the character you don’t recognise but whose magnificent mask and paint job leave you staring. Once you have collected 15 tokens you can collect a small prize and badge from the info desk. No fanfare, just appreciation. It’s a democratic and friendly system that I adore. So you can imagine how pleased I was that in the few short hours I wore my Split Worlds gown I was given a handful of tokens. Not enough for a badge but that quiet show of appreciation from friends and strangers was enough to leave me with a warm glow.

Next up in proceedings (and still gowned) was a choice between bisexuality in SFF and 3D Printing Gets Smart. I opted for Promiscuous Unicorns since it’s a topic close to home (and I had seen an excellent talk on the possibilities of 3D printing earlier in the year at Eastercon). I’m still not sure that was the right decision.

Promiscuous Unicorns: Representations of bisexuals in SFF AKA: That Panel

This panel was, sadly, the low point of the weekend for me. It just didn’t work. Some people have described it as “hissing bisexuals” and other such terms which would imply that is was deeply problematic and offensive. I don’t entirely agree with that view but there is no denying that it was not the insightful, creative and radical talk it could be. So what were the problems?

Firstly we need to acknowledge that all content at Nine Worlds is provided on a volunteers and amateur basis – people suggest and volunteer to run sessions and do so with support from the also volunteer (but often experienced) content runners. Running a panel isn’t an easy task – it requires preparing your subject and working with a group of other people, some of whom you may not know well if at all. It takes preparation, confidence and people skills. If any of that is lacking, your panel can fall apart. Additionally you need to make sure you have the right people on your panel, balancing experience, knowledge, diversity and voice carefully: while you don’t need everybody to have academic qualifications or be working in the field, you do need to make sure that whatever qualifications they do have are suitable and work well with everybody else.

This panel was let down on several of those points: the chair was lacking in the confidence to direct the discussion and curtail overzealous panellists, the contribution of some of the panellists wasn’t clear and, some voices were apt to drown out others. This resulted in a panel that was short of nuance, was repetitive, and often strayed in to personal territory without reference back to the topic at hand, specifically bisexuality as represented in SFF.

The problem with talking about problematic tropes is you have to talk about those problematic tropes. It means talking about how bisexuality is often linked to promiscuity, to a lack of morality, to a lack of fidelity. Bisexuals are sex workers, playboys and wildcards. Or at least they are in much of the media we are presented with. A nuanced discussion is able to talk about why these depictions are problematic whilst acknowledging that those behaviours themselves are not wrong or immoral (well, perhaps with the exception of the immorality). Furthermore we are dealing with a topic that is not static. The language of LGBTQAI has changed and continues to change over the decades. The goals, ambitions, acceptance and face of bisexual politics and lifestyle has shifted and changed and of course is not a homogenous mass that has been uniformly agreed upon but changes with the individual.  It’s important to understand the history in order to understand how these tropes have developed and why they have become problems. But it is also important to balance that history with the many varied opinions and voices of now. Sadly that fine path wasn’t well negotiated in the panel – too much time was spent focusing on the issue of promiscuity and sex work and how that was bad in terms of tropes and representation, when it is often the only representation of bisexual people. And though the panellists did state that there was nothing inherently wrong with a polyamorous or promiscuous bisexual person and that it is merely the ever present trope that is a problem, the repetition of these arguments and the panellists constantly returning to undesirable examples meant that nuance was lost.

There was some contentious statements about the nature of bisexuality, the idea that maybe we are all a little bit bisexual, a concept that is ripe for discussion and has neither been declared discredited or valid, an impossibility considering there is no over-riding Council of Bisexuality to judge and declare on the matter. However it is contentious and raises a lot of questions not just about sexuality but gender theory. It can and does make a lot of people, me included uncomfortable and can be argued to contribute to the erasure of bisexuality. If everybody who isn’t Definitely Straight or Definitely Gay is “a little bit bi” then it undermines the idea of bisexuality as a distinct concept. It can also undermine other sexualities – those people who have fought for the right to call themselves gay or lesbian being told that maybe they are actually a little bit bi like everybody else.
But, as in this blog, it is an issue that grows and meanders easily taking us off track and away from the original discussion. When the notion comes up repeatedly in a talk on the representation of bisexuality it is bound to cause ripples.

There were a number of smaller sticking points too, largely the language used and personal opinions on what is difficult to say and what people want to see. All panels will have small things you disagree with, after all we are generally dealing with subjects that don't have hard fast rules, but along side the other issues discussed, those small points make a big hill. 

Ultimately the panel didn’t go well. Was it a room full of hissing bisexuals and problematic statements deserving of metaphorical stoning? No. But was it a good panel? Far from. It is fair that people came out with feathers ruffled and a sense of disappointment. We could have had a nuanced and educated critique of bisexual representation in media with choice examples and discussion of what is done badly and how we can improve. Instead we had the same tired old statements delivered without care and littered with opportunities to upset and annoy. There was no advancement of thought, no sense of progress or learning, just stale irritation and the sense that the female author on the left should have been allowed to speak more.

The final foray

We only had time left for one panel and sadly the contentious bisexuality panel had left me feeling flat and lacking in enthusiasm. A final raid on the traders to gather yet more books and art helped lift my spirits as well as the unending joy of being in a bubble of like minded people who really understood what it was like to be the odd one out back in the real world but here treated each other as equals, friends and with respect. The general atmosphere of Nine Worlds really is special. It is refreshing and restorative, a place where many people feel they can truly be themselves and can express themselves, and merely exist in safety and without the risk of ridicule, attack or harm from outsiders. The effort they go to not just make it a safe space for geeks and nerds but for different ethnicities, skin colours, genders, sexualities, ages and disabilities is a marvellous thing and not to be dismissed lightly. Whatever my grievances with the bisexuality panel, being in that wholesome environment made it better. Also books. All the books.

Some successful retail therapy and demonstrating the carry capacity of the scooter.

The final panel for me this event was “Robots AI and the Labour Market”. If I am honest this is my jam, this is exactly the sort of panel I adore and love that I get the opportunity to go to. I love the hard science and the hard facts that can be found in speculative fiction and I love how we can examine that from a real world perspective. The panel was chaired by Sarah Groenwegen, who had earlier chaired the Policing in Urban fantasy panel, so I was encouraged that this would be a well moderated and technical panel. This woman knows her stuff. The rest of the panel was made up of a combination of authors, physicists, computer programmers, mathematicians and engineers. This was a heavyweight panel for a heavy subject. 
It was fascinating and especially relevant considering recent stories breaking from Google and Microsoft, to say nothing of the UKs current economic situation. They talked in realistic terms about how AI and robotics were actually already changing the way we work and live and how integrated these systems are. It makes for extrapolation to speculative fiction and tricky task, managing to keep things interesting but not ignoring the very mundane way we already live with such technology. They talked of the pitfalls inherent in the tech, especially that fact that any AI or robot is only as clever or clued up as the programmers or data it has to learn from. As we are learning, if the data you feed to an AI is steeped in systemic racism, the results the AI gives you will be just as prejudice – there is no inherent impartiality in AI and robots as long as humans are involved. There was interesting talk then about the creation of utopias and dystopias, how AI could be used in different political and social models and the impact that would have on our lives: more time for creativity and arts? Would we be wealthier or poorer? How would the crumbling class system be impacted and who would be the new underclass? What of the “lives” of the AI’s themselves?

It was, for me an AI and speculative fiction enthusiast, a superb way to round out the convention.

A quick change in to “normal” clothes once more, some hugs and good byes and my Nine Worlds came to an end as we checked out of the hotel for another year.

All in all it is a wonderful experience. The accessibility is fabulous and the effort people go to to make sure everybody can join in is marvellous. Hiring the scooter for the event is what, metaphorically kept me on my feet. Being able to park up and walk in to some panels or roll up and reverse into a designated space was a great feeling as, unlike in the outside world, I was never a bother or an exception. The range of topics being discussed and the level of interaction is marvellous and there is more or less something for all tastes. Splitting my time between running content and purely attending did dampen my experience somewhat and there are some panels I regret missing. Of course there are high spots and low spots when it comes to the quality of a panel, that is almost inevitable but honestly it’s something I can live with and at the very least it gives us something to talk about.


I love this con. I’ll be going back. You should think about going too. I’ll see you there. 

Wednesday, 9 August 2017

Nine Worlds part one

Nine Worlds part one - Thursday to Friday

This week sees me recovering in Dorset after the excellent 2017 Nine Worlds Geekfest in London.

Wheels at the ready for Nine Worlds
The Con ran from Thursday evening (opening with social events such as Cheese and Cheese), the panels, talks, workshops and other sessions running from Friday morning until Sunday evening. It’s a long programme. For those unfamiliar, Nine Worlds focuses on the culture and society of “geekdom and fandom” from sci-fi and fantasy to comics to gaming to the Miss Fisher Fandom, it’s a broad spectrum of interests. But though the net is spread wide there is a common thread – how does it all relate to the people who enjoy it and the world we live in. Alongside technical discussions such as The Mathematics of a Zombie Apocalypse and How to Design a Spaceship (from a real life qualified Naval Engineer) you also find yourself taking part in discussions of how feminism is portrayed in your favourite media, the problems with a lack of diversity in comics or film and, how can we make things more accessible for disabled geeks. There is a trading floor at Nine Worlds and you will see people in cosplay but the emphasis is all on content, talking and thinking about the media we enjoy (and sometimes hate).

This was my second year attending (you can read about my first year experience here) and as well as being an attendee I was also running a workshop in the guise of Access:LARP called “How to write accessible plot for LARP” and, co-GMing a large one of tabletop RPG. Those commitments meant my experience of the event was a little odd, as I was neither wholly Attendee nor Staff.
Since my Access:LARP workshop was on Friday morning I arrived on Thursday evening. As mentioned above, Thursday night is mostly social to allow those early arrivals to settle in and warm up. I didn’t actually attend any of the programmed events but I did enjoy the opportunity to catch up with friends, have some good food and a drink or two in the hotel bar. I choose to stay at a hotel away from the con, as I like having the physical distance from the business and bustle of the con. This is one of the reasons I hired a mobility scooter for the weekend – we tried a manual chair last time but bumped up against London pavements – having to go a bit further to get to and from the Con venue to my hotel takes its toll on my fatigue. I had been a bit nervous about travelling around London with it and also nervous about how I would feel around and me received by other people. Thursday night was my first real test of my social concerns (as I’d already managed to travel to the hotel itself) and I was relieved at how not only my friends but new people at the con just accepted things and treated me no differently. They were helpful when necessary but otherwise my gentle rolling everywhere raised no comment. I was reassured.

The Access:LARP Workshop

The Access:LARP Writing Accessible Plot workshop in full swing

Friday morning I started my day with a leisurely breakfast, packed my scooter and made my way to the Con. Sessions start at 10AM and running one of the first sessions of the con had me nervous – what if people didn’t turn up? What if it was too early on for interested parties (hangovers and travel times can be equally damning)? Plus for some people this would be their first impression of what Nine Worlds had to offer. I was surprised and happy though when, as I set up people began to file n and take their places at the table. By the time 10:00 ticked around I had an almost full house. This was excellent, but oh now the pressure to deliver! I hadn’t run this workshop previously having had to pull out of a “test run” at a smaller event earlier in the year due to, of course, my own chronic illness. I really wasn’t sure how it would go so delivering it at a popular con to a full house was exciting! The group were engaged, got on board with the material and as the plot writing took off, very creative both in their ideas and in their approach to accessibility. I think most people came away having learned something or at least having a better idea of how to approach writing a game with accessibility in mind. As a bonus I think a couple of people came away with games they might actually run.

So that was that hurdle out of the way.

Friday continued with a very good panel on Policing in Urban Fantasy. Though they were using two books I hadn’t read as their main focal point, I found the expertise of the three women on the panel was sufficient to hold my interest. The books were used more as touchstones and examples of various issues and mthods of depiciting police, law and intelligence in urban fantasy (and indeed in other genres) and allowed for a lively discussion from various viewpoints – the police officer, the home office civil servant and the intelligence analyst (each with a number of other hats and specialisations). I’m a big fan of detective stories anyway so hearing their perspective was great for me as a reader giving me common mistakes to look out for and making more appreciative of those things done right. I imagine any authors who have a police or detective thriller in the works would have taken even more from it than me.

Plus, starting my attendeeship with a panel made up of women, and queer women at that who all had expertise, authority and a voice was pretty good going and to be honest just the sort of thing I want and expect from Nine Worlds.

My day was broken up by a long meeting with my fellow GMs finalising the plot and actually how this ridiculous RPG we were going to run would work. It was a good meeting and definitely in the spirit of Nine Worlds – three geeks who get on well crafting a game and playing around with game mechanics – but it was difficult to shake the feeling that it was work. Sadly it also meant I missed out on a couple of interesting panels but, these things happen.

I did manage to catch an interesting talk by a woman called Rafeeat Aliyu who as a historian and blogger, questioned why the stereotypes of African women in speculative fiction tends to fall to “the warrior woman” and “the priestess”. As an argument against and solution to this problem she introduced us to a number of women from African history who had diverse and interesting lives. Princesses, business women, crafters and rulers: real people, ripe for story inspiration and far from obeying the rules of trope. The talk also raised a number of interesting points about the concept of different models of patriarchy, a patriarchy bore of need (for the continuation of legacy), and approaches to gender, in societies where gender was often very performative leading to the creation of female sons and male daughters.


I rounded off day one with (after collecting my partner who had only just arrived) with a talk on wolves in horror and heavy metal music by the excellent academic, Amanda DiGioia. Or at least that’s what I attempted. Due to some reshuffling of rooms and us running a couple of minutes late we actually ended up in “History’s Forgotten Heroes”. After a few minutes of initial confusion when it became clear that these people weren’t talking about wolves at all, it became an interesting panel with all panel members showing obvious enthusiasm as well as knowledge about their chosen heroes. From the real story of Tutankhamun to the extraordinary radical Irene Harand (writer of Sein Kampf a refutation and challenge of Hitler’s infamous book) and Algerian female ruler privateers it was clear there is far more to history that commonly makes school history lessons and TV documentaries. All in all a good way to round off the day.